Turner Classic Movies "Now Playing" Magazine "Generate a Movie Plot" Game

I just invented a game that's hours of fun for the whole family.

All you need to play is a copy of TCM's Now Playing Magazine. Open to any page. Notice that nearly all plot descriptions follow the same formula:

• MAIN CHARACTER takes ACTION to reach GOAL.

So, for the 1962 Paul Newman film "Sweet Bird of Youth," we get:

• A young gigolo returns to his southern hometown in search of the lost love of his youth.

Now, go to town! Using any two-page spread, combine three or more phrases from three or more movie plotlines to generate your very own wacky movie ideas! Here's what I came up with on my first try:

1. A dimwitted boxer switches places with a water-skiing instructor to avenge his son’s murder.

2. A crusading reporter tries to adopt a married song-and-dance team trained in the management of mentally ill and confused persons to win the Kentucky Derby.

3. A grizzled skipper has to overcome social prejudice to survive the aftermath of nuclear war.

4. A retired cat burglar is torn between a circus ringmaster and a fiery half-breed.

5. A Mountie dreams of the slaughter of a buffalo herd in a Mexican hotel.

6. Michael J. Fox hosts this documentary featuring a squirrel – or does he?

7. In this special, a college student tries to get rich quick when she plots to murder some of Hollywood’s greatest stars.

8. A ballerina turns to prostitution when a baby photographer takes an amnesia potion, bringing her sanity into question.

The patent's pending, folks.