Frank Sinatra Discusses Space Technology With Willie Nelson

Circa 1992.

Huffington Post Confirms Glands Behind Elbows 25 Times More Interesting Than Gland In Front Of Neck

Turner Classic Movies "Now Playing" Magazine "Generate a Movie Plot" Game

I just invented a game that's hours of fun for the whole family.

All you need to play is a copy of TCM's Now Playing Magazine. Open to any page. Notice that nearly all plot descriptions follow the same formula:

• MAIN CHARACTER takes ACTION to reach GOAL.

So, for the 1962 Paul Newman film "Sweet Bird of Youth," we get:

• A young gigolo returns to his southern hometown in search of the lost love of his youth.

Now, go to town! Using any two-page spread, combine three or more phrases from three or more movie plotlines to generate your very own wacky movie ideas! Here's what I came up with on my first try:

1. A dimwitted boxer switches places with a water-skiing instructor to avenge his son’s murder.

2. A crusading reporter tries to adopt a married song-and-dance team trained in the management of mentally ill and confused persons to win the Kentucky Derby.

3. A grizzled skipper has to overcome social prejudice to survive the aftermath of nuclear war.

4. A retired cat burglar is torn between a circus ringmaster and a fiery half-breed.

5. A Mountie dreams of the slaughter of a buffalo herd in a Mexican hotel.

6. Michael J. Fox hosts this documentary featuring a squirrel – or does he?

7. In this special, a college student tries to get rich quick when she plots to murder some of Hollywood’s greatest stars.

8. A ballerina turns to prostitution when a baby photographer takes an amnesia potion, bringing her sanity into question.

The patent's pending, folks.